


Street Smarts! With Ladybug and Chat Noir

by maddiebug



Series: Hydrate Or Die-drate and other helpful reminders [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Identity Reveal, John Mulaney References, Oblivious Adrien Agreste, Okay but this is such a cute idea i had to write it, Semi-Crack, Silly, Street smarts, sometimes marinette is intense, street smarts with detective jj bittenbinder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26265037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebug/pseuds/maddiebug
Summary: Somehow Ladybug and Chat Noir end up teaching small children about street safety, even though Chat is quite possibly the least qualified person Marinette knows. He's crossed the street one (1) singular time.Other than Adrien, who tried to cross the street without looking both ways and nearly gave her a heart attack yikes.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Hydrate Or Die-drate and other helpful reminders [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876243
Comments: 14
Kudos: 177





	Street Smarts! With Ladybug and Chat Noir

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sienna_Maiu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sienna_Maiu/gifts).



> Thanks for the idea @Sienna_Maiu. You've created a monster.
> 
> Me: okay but like Street Smarts is literally one of the funniest John Mulaney bit you have to include it somehow in this.  
> Also me: Maddie you've written way too many things with John Mulaney references  
> Also also me: but it would be iconic.

When Adrien stepped off the sidewalk without looking, Marinette almost had a heart attack.

The little light was clearly a red hand, not a walking-guy, and cars were speeding past.

"Yikes!" She squeaked, grabbing the back of his shirt before he could get in front of traffic. "Adrien, we can't go yet."

Adrien frowned. "We can't?"

"That's called jaywalking, and its illegal."

He raised his eyebrows. "It is??"

"Yeah." 

"Oh." He stepped back into the sidewalk. "When can we go?"

"See that little hand?" Marinette pointed to the traffic light. "It means stop."

"So when it's a green hand we go?"

"It turns into a little walking guy-" Marinette shook her head. "Have you ever crossed the street before?"

Adrien scratched the back of his neck. "No, not really. Usually I get driven everywhere."

"Right. I think you need to learn some street smarts." 

"That sounds like a great idea."

"Really? Great. I'm supposed to teach some little kids how to safely cross the road, so I've been practicing street smarts."

"I'd love to year it."

"Okay, lesson one, when you get kidnappped-"

"When I get kidnapped? Not if?" 

Marinette stared and he got quiet. "When you get kidnapped, and thrown in the trunk-"

"I feel like you're making a lot of assumptions."

"-make sure to pull out the carpeting around the tail light. That way, you can punch your hand through and wave at other vehicles. That's how they know that something funky is up."

"I don't really see how this is helpful-"

"You can't let him take you to a secondary location."

"What's a secondary location?"

"Street Smarts!"

"Marinette, that light has a white guy, can we walk across the street now?"

"What? Yeah, we can go now." Before stepping off the sidewalk, Marinette looked both ways for any on coming vehicles.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Look to the left and right?"

"Oh, you always look both ways before crossing the street."

"You do?"

"Of course. You don't want to get hit by a car."

"Aren't they supposed to stop?"

"Yeah, but its safer to look, as a precaution."

They stepped onto the road and Adrien grabbed Marinette's hand.

She felt her cheeks heat up. "Adrien-"

"I remember my mom used to say that you have to hold hands when you cross the street. Its a rule."

"Well-"

Adrien gasped. "Marinette, I thought you knew all the street rules."

She didn't have the heart to tell him that only small children held hands when crossing the street. "I guess I just forgot about that rule."

"Its a good thing I'm here to remind you."

When they were about three steps away from the sidewalk in the other side, the light changed back to a red hand.

Adrien froze.

"What are you doing?"

"You said it was illegal to walk when that's a red hand."

"Once you start crossing an intersection, don't just stop."

"But-"

"If you stand in the middle of the road, you're going to get hit."

"Okay." Adrien stepped onto the sidewalk. "That seems confusing, like should I walk or not, but I trust you."

"Street smarts!"

He flinched. "Do you have to yell it?"

"Yes." She smiled. "Lesson 2: When you get mugged-"

"Marinette once again, I think you're making assumptions. I've never been kidnapped or mugged."

"You've never crossed the street either. Apparently."

"Touché."

"When you get mugged, you need to have a money clip."

Adrien pulled out a notebook. "A money clip. Engraved?"

"You can buy one at any local haberdashery. You stick some cash so that when you get mugged, you can throw it at the mugger."

"Throw it at him?"

"Now you've thrown him off his rhythm." She chuckled. "He won't know what to expect next."

"What do you do next?"

"And then you run the other way. Street Smarts!"

"While this seems like solid advice-"

"It is."

"It also feels very chaotic."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"I just think, if you're helping little kids cross the street, you should tell them to look both ways, not make them panic about getting kidnapped."

"Huh." Marinette tilted her head. "I hadn't thought of that. You have a point."

"Also, every time you yell Street Smarts! I jump."

"Thanks for the constructive criticism." Marinette nodded. "I'll make some changes to the program."

"That's a great idea. And don't forget, they have to hold hands."

"I'll make sure to tell them that."

...

When Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived to teach the children street safety, Chat pulled Ladybug to the side to talk.

"Look, I've only crossed the street once, and I'm not sure I know all the rules."

"You've crossed the street once? Where did you grow up, on a farm in the countryside?"

"Paris. I was homeschooled. I didn't get out much."

"Yeah I have a friend like that." Ladybug was definitely not comparing Chat Noir to Adrien Agreste. Certainly there were a lot of boys her age with blonde hair and green eyes, who were homeschooled, and had crossed the street one (1) time.

"Great, so you can do the explaining and I can be the example."

"What?"

"You'll say something, like-" Chat Noir raised his voice to a higher gone, "-look both ways before crossing the street-"

"I do not sound like that."

"You totally do." He shook his head. "Anyways, you say that and I will look both ways, like-" He shook his head again, but this time with purpose. "Sounds good?"

"That sounds great actually. Then we can help the auditory learners and the visual learners."

"And, I was thinking that we could cross the street as a group, using the rules we teach them."

"That's a great idea, Chat."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot."

"Great."

"Also, my friend, Marinette, will be here, and I want her in the back of the group."

"Why?"

"That way, she can protect the kids without scaring them off."

"Shes not scary."

"You've never heard her yell at you about getting mugged."

"I-" Ladybug had a thought. "How do you know that Marinette is going to be here?"

"She said that she was going to help some little kids cross the road. She practiced street smarts with me."

"She did?" Ladybug definitely did not have that conversation with Chat Noir.

"Well, she said she was going to help some kids cross the street today and it seemed like a planned, organized event."

"I don't remember her volunteering."

"You think she lied?"

"Well, maybe she's running late?" Ladybug offered.

"Yeah. I mean, I thought she meant this. I'm not sure. Maybe she is planning on kidnapping some small children and yelling at them about Street Smarts!"

"I don't sound like that." 

"Yeah you- she does. What?"

"What?"

"Did you just-"

"I'm Ladybug."

"Marinette?"

"Adrien?"

"Whoa-"

Ladybug punched Chat in the gut. "Now I've thrown you off your rhythm. Street Smarts!" Then she sprinted the other way.

"First of all," he groaned, "ouch. Second, that only confirmed that you are Marinette."

She was already halfway across Paris.

...

Once Ladybug returned, promising Chat that they could talk later, teaching the children worked like a charm. A lucky charm hahaha get it? (Shut up inner Chat Noir, you don't need puns in everything you write).

Ladybug and Chat Noir were given bright Orange safety vests, whistles, and flags, to signal to cars that people were crossing the street. (Ladybug had to take away Chat's whistle after 3 seconds. Really, the lack of impulse control was astonishing).

The little kids listened to every word that Ladybug said, like she was a real authority figure and not just a teenager in a skintight suit. 

They repeated Chat's actions step by step.

They looked both ways, made sure the light was the walking guy, and held a buddy's hand while crossing the street.

They were all so cute, and all smiles, and at the end, when Ladybug passed out stickers, they all gave her hugs. It was really cute. 

They were supposed to choose a buddy they didn't know, to make a new friend, but somehow, Ladybug ended up holding Chat's hand when they crossed as a group. 

She didn't mind though.

And she didn't mention getting kidnapped or mugged once. This time. She would save that for the elementary school children, who knew the hardships of life, unlike the innocent little preschoolers.

Street smarts!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, do you read/write/art for this fandom? Check out the [ miraculous fanworks ](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) discord server.


End file.
